Hiatus

So what’s going on while I was away and completely ignoring the blog?

Correction! Never ignoring! I’ve logged in several times, but I ended up writing things that are too trivia, too daily, too boring, and I’ve to admit, a bit raw. And this place was never meant to be a place for that, so I never published them. That would be on good days, on bad days I just stare blankly at my monitor, not knowing where to start to write. Gave up, and shut it down.

The main topic for the past 4 Mondays in 1 simple word, is BLAH!

I used to have what people call in Indonesian lidah silet (read: razor tongue). I just see the very worse on people and then throw it to their face. No sensor system, no editing. Gosh, if I can remember the many people that’s been hurt over they years.. So I worked hard to eliminate that.

Now that I think I’ve changed, I work hard not to focus on people’s bad side, but the consequently I failed to see what they’re actually doing to me, what damage they’re making in my life. So the past month I’ve been observing the people who are constantly around me.. obsessive abuser, backstabber, hypocrites, opportunist, chronic complainer, and grumpy people with never ending demands.

But it was that one incident that I had to look closer at how hurt I’ve been. One single incident, when (who was supposed to be) a friend stabbed me dead straight. Not long after that, I got sick. The worse flu I’ve ever had. 2 full weeks (still managed to work, but barely survived it if not by God’s grace). This illness slowed me down and allowed me to question things. I'm no indicating that the incident caused me to get sick, but hey, I'm not eliminating the possibility either.

The only thing I will never understand is, how can the people who were involved didn’t realize what this person did and let it went by just like that? Maybe that’s what happened when they think they’re in the right..

OK, if they’re in the right, maybe I should be on the left. Leave all this behind, move on to the next phase? Hmmm...